i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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