I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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