VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
