White coat. Heels.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
