While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There's always time for handjobs
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize