He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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