whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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