that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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