I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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