so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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