I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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