wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
