My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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