dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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