I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
