I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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