The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
