the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
