I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
