And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
