Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You're a waste of cheezeits
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
i need some magic done to my vagina
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
