Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
A bitchslap is in order.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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