; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ketchup is God's man juice
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
