he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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