fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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