margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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