I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
