im six kinds of drunk right now
i think i have two assholes
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
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We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
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I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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