His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
