hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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