I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
