in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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