also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
