you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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