Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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