u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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