Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
