two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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