is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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