Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
