You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
