I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
