in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's official drugs can't kill me
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
