a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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