Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
