An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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