Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
