She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
