god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
