my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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