They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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