Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
COCAINE IS GR8
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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