my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize