1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
