every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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