Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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