i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize