Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize