I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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