Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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